In the future we'll all be gay
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
someone owes me an orgasm
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
