Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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