well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
