I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize