Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My dick has a subreddit
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
