I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
