Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
