Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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