My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize