STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
