the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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