We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
