So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
