Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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