i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
