Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
