i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
my liver is dry heaving
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
