He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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