He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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