yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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