i think my mom watched the whole time
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
