i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
