I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize