I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
