I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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