even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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