this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
