You really coming over, don't trick.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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