My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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