they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize