how can u be prego again
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
