we have pet lesbian snakes
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's the barista slut.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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