So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
