Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
