I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize