if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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