I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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