I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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