i think i have herpe
just one?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
