I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
