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Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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