So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
