pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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