Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
