i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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