Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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