had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize