Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
