Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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