Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
