I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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