Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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