OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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