About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
