i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
