Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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