she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
