is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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