so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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