Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
