I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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