Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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