it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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