Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
