So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
