i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
