and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
