I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize