i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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