do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
