im holly from the hills drunk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
