if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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