I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
